A joyous pick......

Had so much fun picking a book to read for the Hay House Book Nook review for July. As always, I got a chance to see a few things about myself that have been coming up to be looked at recently. I will elaborate more on this discovery in my upcoming Father's Day blog.
For now, here are the details of my first Hay House book pick ,in case you'd like to join themysticnextdoor on a journey to "Juicy Joy" by Lisa McCourt

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this 
review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment 
of the product.

Copyright 2012 by Mercedes Calderon. All rights reserved. This material may be copied and distributed subject to inclusion of this copyright notice and my blog themysticnextdoor.blogspot.com

And So, I Waved Goodbye........

Have you ever had the realization that things can't stay the way they are, but the act of changing the situation is unbearably painful? Now what does this have to do with being themysticnextdoor, you may ask? Love is a mystery, and the love between an animal and it's owner, even more mysterious. Animals are such perfect mirrors and teachers through their sacrifices because they do not hold judgement, only unconditional love.

I believe and now know that my one year old Dachshund, Mr Squiggles' presence in my life at this time is here to show me something deep within me that is searingly painful. So painful, to the point of putting up with a situation that doesn't serve any one of us, most especially him. The emotion is one of ABANDONMENT, and my judgement of it. It has touched the wound of losing (being abandoned by) my mother at 17, but also how awful it must have been for her to know that she would leave the earth not knowing how or where her child's journey through life would unfold or end up. I believe this is at the core of my unspoken vow with my pets to never give them up for adoption into another family. A family which may be better equipped to serve them. My stance has been to declare, " I will be the mom that never leaves, that never abandons them!" I don't have a fear of loss, rather I have suffered a loss so deep and unprepared for, that the issue of abandonment has unknowingly had many lingering effects upon my life. This experience of letting Mr Squiggles go shows me how far this wound has impelled me to suffer to the point of taking on my mother's pain, in addition to my own. I have also transferred this pain onto my pets, regardless of what's in their best interests, up until today.

I have 3 dogs, 3 cats and currently live in a small home where the art of organization is a daily challenge. Mr Squiggles was bought by my daughter, and lived with them until my 3.5 yr old granddaughter almost made him fall down the spiral staircase! Needless to say for his own safety, it was decided that Mr Squiggles would be best served by being rehomed. Luckily, by a passionate animal lover client of mine, who is an angel to pets deserving of a new environment. At the last moment, just as I also sit here today, I decided to take him into my home, as I watched my daughter (having gone through a major unexpected death herself) mirror the pain of letting him go.

I took on the extra responsibility of taking Mr Squiggles, despite knowing full well how difficult this would be, and how it would have a negative impact on my already full house. He is the sweetest boy, but his very active and piercing vocalizations aka barking, have proven to be the straw that broke this camels back, the deal breaker!! I tried bark collars, giving him more attention and outdoor time, but nothing worked. So, much to my distress, I now sit here saying my goodbye to a little animal that was put on this earth to be loved unconditionally....not rehomed (judgement). Like I said before, a long time ago I made a vow to never give up a pet that I took responsibility for. I've had 6 dogs and 2 cats from the beginning to the last goodbye, and however painful those goodbyes have been, I knew they'd had the best life I could give them.

THIS IS SO DIFFERENT. This time I am saying a premature goodbye into an unknown future for my little guy. I never recognized how I was taking on and acting out my own, as well as my mother's deathbed feelings, and superimposing them onto my pets lives until this moment as I write. When I got up this morning I felt I couldn't go through with turning him over. Now, through the allowing of my tears to wash away my pain into these words, I've received the gift of seeing what caused this all to unfold this way.

Mr Squiggles hates being crated, and is crated at night as well as at varying times during the day when I work. His crate time gives my other dogs some free time to have the run of the house, but he deserves to be in an environment where he'll be the star, where he is top dog... Spoiled rotten even. Writing this makes me smile for the first time today. This is the point that I want to engrave in my heart and soul. He deserves a better life and I now willingly accept the responsibility of making sure he gets one. I place full faith and trust in God and my friend to provide him with his best home, with his best family. I do it for him, as well as myself. I know our connection is complete and forever, because love never dies and I know that! The biggest love for him is to let him move on to a new life, and the biggest love I can give to my two older dogs is to rehome Mr Squiggles so they can claim the attention and affection that's been lacking for them since he came to live with us. It's about loving them ALL enough to let him go. It's also about loving myself and my mother, being able to forgive her for "abandoning me". It's still sad though I have peace in knowing this was a reflection for me to heal and move through. Did you know that the definition of suffer means to "go through?" Well I believe we have all suffered through this and had a major breakthrough through the love of a little Dachshund named Mr Squiggles. Squiggy, Mommy (or Nana, to respect the original relationship) will always love you, and keep you in her heart forever. Until we meet again my boy.....

Copyright 2012 by Mercedes Calderon. All rights reserved. This material may be copied and distributed subject to inclusion of this copyright notice and my blog themysticnextdoor.blogspot.com

Sitting in Dad's club chair.......

There's something wonderful that happens when we have a day set aside to thank and remember our loved ones. We give ourselves the opportunity to see into our past and come out of those memories with a deeper understanding of why we are the way we are. Gratitude arises out of understanding, and that's a gift from God within.
My dad, Luis Francisco Dumois Calderon, born in 1914 has been gone now since 1999, and I miss his way of living....simply. My memories of him while growing up is an image of him sitting in his club chair, listening to his beloved classical music and reading one of his many books. He was a true intellectual and a sensitive soul. It was his escape from this world. I was intrigued by his intellect as well as intimidated by it. Luckily, I was a decent student and could hold my own in a conversation with him, but somehow felt a slight bit deficient throughout my life.
During the mid 1980's I suffered a few episodes of mild seizures which left me with a challenged memory. I always explain my sudden loss of train of thought as a result from too much 1970-1980 MaryJane indulgence! I am after all, a renegade flower child! But in truth, having had to live with this has affected my self esteem when it comes to my relationship with my intellect, which in turn summons up my memories with dad and his family.

I love to write, and the reason I love to write and even need to write, is that I want to leave my daughter and granddaughter with a true sense of who I am, and what I believe about being here and living my best life possible. I never want them to think or feel the "I never knew's" about my life. I went through that with both my parents, most especially my father. I now know that their lives were their best lives according to the times they lived in. My dad got to travel inside the heart of inspiration within all the great artists, poets, composers and authors. Living out most of his time there, whenever he wasn't working providing for us, must have left him feeling dry about the reality of his day to day life, and so he was also an alcoholic. It took many years before I could accept him just as he was, and stop judging his lack of "achievement"in this world. Throughout my life as a child, and as a young teen he would take me to the Columbia University Club in NYC a couple of times a month. He loved to go there, have lunch and engage in discussions with whoever he happened to meet there that day. In turn I got to meet some famous authors, artists, and businessmen of the times. I remember that as soon as you entered the salon you could feel the hushed energy of knowledge and privilege and yes, class consciousness. Back then not everyone got to go to Columbia University, or college for that matter. It affected me deeply, although not quite knowing why, for the following reason. I loved all people equally, never understanding how one could feel better than or lower than another human being. I just ignored that part of his upbringing, because I loved him and was able to see how the pressure of having to live up to that view of life had rendered him unable to find happiness and contentment outside of his books, art and music.

What we need to leave behind is the history of class consciousness and it's corresponding sense of "I'm not good enough/worthy, or I'm better than/entitled." This is another form of separation from the resplendent spirit we all possess. I've often wondered how many forms of separation there are? As many as there are humans living on this planet, would seem to be a fair assessment! Intelligence is one of them.
We have judgements about every single thing under the sun, including ourselves in relation to others. Yes, the concept of there being an "other" out there to compare and judge ourselves against runs rampant. I use the word "against" with intention, because the only "one" that we are against is our Self, the "One in all".

This Father's Day I want to love my Father's memory with compassion and forgiveness. I want to forgive his parents and their parents, all the way back as many generations as it takes to eliminate the unintended effects of the inability to see God in each other.

Thank you Daddy for giving me the love of all the Inspired Arts..... Poetry.... Literature..... and Music. Your love for these jewels of consciousness just oozed from you, and my spirit accepted your gift. Blessings to you on this Father's Day!
Love,
Mercedes

Copyright 2012 by Mercedes Calderon. All rights reserved. This material may be copied and distributed subject to inclusion of this copyright notice and my blog themysticnextdoor.blogspot.com

Expansion Through Reading!

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Coming in July

The Mystic Next Door will be posting monthly book reviews from Hay House Books!

I'll post which book will be reviewed in July next week, so that you may have the opportunity to read it along with themysticnextdoor.

A Different Kind of Love Story....

During the course of my lifetime, I've had the privilege to take care of quite a few fur babies. I've had 8 dogs plus their babies and 6 cats plus their babies too! A bunny, a guinea pig, hamsters, gerbils, 3 turtles, 1 Frog, and more birdies than I can count. Throughout it all, I have received such a vast amount of love and pure adoration from each and every one of them, that today I wanted to mention the most valuable teaching I have received from loving and grieving them. This is a different kind of Mother's Day tribute, dedicated to all of God's Creature people out there. And we'll include the Fur baby Dad's too, because knowingly or not, through loving their pets, they also have invoked the Great Nurturing Spirit within themselves, the awesome feminine power!
This past Friday, my daughter made the somber decision of putting her (our) precious dog Kahluah to sleep, after a long illness. The aftermath for me was one of contemplating the various pets that have called me mom ( yes I talk to them)! With each one I have had the opportunity to have our last "talk" where I've given them my blessing and permission to leave me, even though it always broke my heart. There's always so much quiet joy and peace afterwards when I feel their loving presence all around me. It's truly been a comfort during trying times.
Many years ago, around 1990 or so, I lost my Xena, a beautiful Doberman that we had for 9 years. She was regal in her stance, so much so that I sometimes would call her Horsie, Horsie, and she would come prancing over to me. I have beautiful memories of her still.
Well, after her death I felt a loss so deep that one night I dreamt that I was back in time. Somewhere around the Civil War era or at least in the 1800's. I was attending a huge gathering with thousands of people. The place was packed, and there were just as many horses attached to hitching posts as there were people. Imagine the scene with me here. I am walking to where I believe I hitched my horse, with the dust from people on their horses kicking up a storm as they leave and obliterating my view. I continue walking up and down each aisle if you will, and I can feel the panic begin to build up in me, fearing that someone has taken my horse! I move from walking to running, aisle after aisle.....no horse! Now I'm frantic and crying out to her..... When suddenly a horse turns her head around to look at me, and when our eyes meet (I can see them still) I instantly recognize the soul in those eyes as my Xena! With no words spoken, a message comes into my Heart of Holies saying to me, "LOVE NEVER DIES!!!! And with that, reunion takes place. Dearest Lord, thank you for loving me enough to show me the way out of my ignorance. With and through you , I am made whole and anew!
This has stayed with me from that day and will forever be seared into the temple of my heart. Sweet rest dearest Kahluah, play with you brother's and sister's in Rainbow Bridge, until we meet again! Love Mom

 Copyright 2012 by Mercedes Calderon. All rights reserved. This material may be copied and distributed subject to inclusion of this copyright notice and my blog themysticnextdoor.blogspot.com

Why wait? Meditate!

Today presented me with a delicious opportunity, a reward for my spirit you might say. I had no appointments set up at work.....I didn't have to babysit my granddaughter until 5:00pm, and I had an irresistible urge to try a new 3 part meditation, which I hadn't had time for this past week.

I remember being initiated into TM or Transcendental Meditation in the 1970's, and appreciate how much it did for me back then. In 1986, I switched to Siddha Yoga Meditation, and somewhere along the years
leading up until now, I just made it my practice to "go within" by diving into the cave of the heart.

Inasmuch as Yoga and Meditation have gotten more press and are popular these days, I still get people who are desperate for peace and contentment, and don't experience the sublime state of quiet joy. All I hear myself saying to them is, "meditate". It's one of those suggestions that's usually met with a respectful silence; as if the most impossible task, a chore to be avoided at all costs has been presented. Truly, I can count the times on one hand that I've been asked, "show me how", or "do you know where I can learn?" Interesting, isn't it?

Why is it that we avoid going within with such intensity? Some people would rather do dishes than sit for just a little while. This is so true!
It may be because we are unfamiliar with the pure aspect of our Higher Self which goes ignored, while spending untold hours and dollars entertaining our Ego mind. I say, "who's better than the Ego?" What a setup it's created for itself, through us. If it sounds like I'm separating the two it's because one of them thinks it is separate. Can you guess which one? When we meditate, we practice the voluntary disengagement from the Ego, in order to experience the larger "I ". If we release the sense of "I" and "mine" and allow it to loosen its' grip, just for a split second, our "I" or awareness will drop into the heart center, and once there, be free to roam in the vast space of perfect holiness. Surfacing from the deep well of the heart, is where perfect peace and the contentment that we long for exists. It's within us, nowhere else! Look within! Make a pledge to begin a meditation practice, and peace will be yours, every day of your life, no matter what the circumstances of that life are. So powerful, yet so sublime that it can bring you to your knees with Gratitude.

My meditation was profound. I placed my awareness in the heart center, while evoking the FEELING of gratitude for the earth. Once the energy was felt in the heart, I moved my awareness to the 3rd Eye or the Pineal gland (basically behind the space between the eyes, in the middle of the head). Now with the energies joined and moving upward, to about one foot above the head, imagining and holding the energies rising up to meet the energy being poured in from up above. Did that for 20 minutes while listening to a master of vibrational sound healing. Emerging from that was such a wow experience that I savored the meditation longer than the 20 minutes I had meditated for!

Have you ever tried to meditate? If not, what's stopping you from becoming friends with the "I" that lies within? The Internet is filled with information on meditation for any and every belief system and path. Start today and live in Peace. Namaste!

Copyright 2012 by Mercedes Calderon. All rights reserved. This material may be copied and distributed subject to inclusion of this copyright notice and my blog themysticnextdoor.blogspot.com